Mood Swing/ The first post

I got tipped off about this sight by one of my friends and I will most likely use it as a personal journal for me and only a select few readers...this is actually making my day a little better.

Ok, for the longest time I have been happy, and for the most part I still am. I mean look at me. I am turning 21 in exactly 1 month today, I have the BEST friends in the world!!, I have a great job and boss, my co-workers are the sh!t, and my best friend since i was born and I are starting to get closer agian. It truely is amazing how some friends may come and go but a small handful stay with you forever!! Not that the others arent important it just makes the handful that more special! Anyway off topic:

I actually went back to Curves yesterday! Man, it had been months and it felt so good to start up again...but i did the worst thing! I stepped on the scale this morning!!! AAAAHHHH!!! I cant believe I weigh this much!!! 219.5!!! I really need to stay focused onto some sort of routine!! Either curves, or walking, or tapes...I need to do something. I am turning 21 and feel as if I look like SH!T. I have been watching what I eat but I never ever really did eat HORRIBLE. I dont really care for junk food...so why do I gain weight just by looking at food!!! I dont want to be skinny I just want to look healthy. Some women are big boned too but look damn good...why not ME?

Last week I did something for me. I bought a past, present, future ring...not only for the bling....but to serve as a reminder to me. For all the misery I have had in my past, Were I am today, and where I want to be. I am hoping this works. I know it may be a bit stupid, but at least I have a plan (or plot).

I also want to FINALLY get in the tanning beds. I need to not look so pasty. Maybe that will help my self image a little.

I also start school in Aug. (which reminds me I need to drop off the tuition). I am really excited about that! That is one of my mountains I had to cross with the Daniel aftermath. But I have made it to the top of that moutain and hopefully I will take on and conquer many more.

I have a hug headache this morning, too! Sorry this blog is sort of scatter brained....but at least I got this off my chest!